There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
