He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
