Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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