so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You've changed since you got that strap on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
