It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
