hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
