How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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