She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
