im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
