I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
