Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize