He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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