I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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