woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
