Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
