Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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