Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
