i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
