and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
