butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
