Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize