Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
