just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
