I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
