Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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