hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
