i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
