Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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