Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
