Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
