its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
