I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
