If that was your dad, he is hot
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
