I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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