take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
