Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
