Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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