Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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