Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
