Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
