My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize