He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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