My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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