from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize