I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
