it wasn't lemon gatorade
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize