On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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