Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
