i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Randomize