So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
