he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
