I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
In America we eat man semen.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
