Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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