I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
