The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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