in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
