I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
