yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
