Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
