I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
