You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You just made me feel so damn special
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
