idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize